I need to first lead with a statement that I am an ardent supported of pornography. I am not in the industry but rather purely an admirer of those who navigate the criticisms and praise that come with the territory. I am most supportive of the women in the industry to choose to own the genre as both actresses and directors/producers/business women. I feel that they have the most challenging of stereotypes to breakdown. That said I find myself with a mountain of questions for those who are in the ‘biz’. When I list them in my head, I think that maybe I am naïve and that others would know the answers but I think I will use this ‘blog cherry popping’ as the opportunity to introduce myself and put it out there.

A bit of context: My ‘real’ life is one which is the furthest from the industry. My work is geekish; my education is equally as geekish but inside lies this sexual piranha that I have kept hidden for decades. I am a lover of sex and a lover of love. The two can be mutually exclusive but are great when they are combined…and I think that they have a place in all of us to be just that. Sex with strangers is wickedly exhilarating but there is much to be said for those who save sex with people that they are committed to and are in love with. But what happens when your primary partner is more prudish than you or perhaps unsure of their abilities and not willing to explore? Speaking from experience, the other partner is left feeling sexually-crippled until the time when they are forced to choose between love and sex.

For some the choice would seem obvious…aren’t we programmed that monogamy is the way that a fulfilled life can be achieved and that we are committed to finding that special someone. My choice was not the same as the norm (or the norm in these parts), I chose sex…rather, I chose me. Sex is me, I am sex. Since that choice, things have changed for the better. I am more effective at work, in life and in my ‘primary’ relationship…crazy as it sounds. I love to express myself in words, pervy words….I love to express myself physically with another…very pervy but fun. Yet I seem to lack a natural approach to visual sexuality. Someone that I have met on here posts the most gorgeous pictures…not always nudity but rather beautifully erotic.

My Sister is a vivacious woman who oozes sexuality. She has since we hit puberty at the age of 11. Over the last few months, she had found the courage and ability to photograph herself in the most beautiful and erotic ways. Life and circumstance, however, had left her questioning the intent of why she chose to do so. But the thing is, I know why she did; she is a sexual piranha like me…rediscovering the ‘sex’ within that lay dormant for a few months, years perhaps. I find myself envious of her, wanting to do the same as her, to take wickedly seductive pictures of my body but here I sit scared shitless that I sent a cleavage pic to a virtual stranger. I am photographically awkward and well, that comes through! *need a moment to laugh at myself* Some have said that it is pornography (and advertising which can be equally sexualized) that has fostered these feelings of inadequacy and awkwardness but how can something that I love bring me to such a negative headspace? Rhetorical question, I think.

I use my words to pleasure others and myself, I use my smile to lure my ‘prey’ and then reveal my sharp, thirsty, pervy words upon them. I want to bring them pleasure in descriptive ‘play-by-plays’ of what I would do to them if I had their body and minds in front of me. But lacking is the answer to their request for images, the ‘real me’ pics…I just don’t do that. I am a pretty girl and in fact have no trouble picking up men in daily life but instead I choose to provide them with a different form of imagery that I can create and manipulate.

That brings me to my first two questions…

For those in the Industry (of which whom I have much respect):Can you differentiate when you have sex for work and when you ‘make love’? Can you physically feel a difference when you pleasure/or are pleasured with/by someone you love to that of when it is purely business?

Well, this was really just an introduction…and to be frank, my future blogs will be far pervier and will be based on a combination of truth and fiction…the best kind of dirty!
Thanks for cumming out!